Knowing only the word for “thank you” in a foreign language and chirping it 4,000 times a day. See also: mercicessive, bonjourbastic.
The letdown one feels at a famous natural wonder when nothing wonderful naturally happens.
THE HAIL MARY SIP (n.):
The choice to ingest or drink a local delicacy knowing there is a 50-50 chance you are about to give yourself diarrhea.
THE HARRY-SALLY SCAN (n.):
The entree-scoping you do while being seated at a restaurant where you cannot read the menu, in order to point and say, “I’ll have what she’s having.”
Taking passport concealment to such an extreme that you can’t find your fucking passport.
Realizing you are stuck on a tour with a corny guide—surrounded by people who find him hilarious.
HULK SHOCK (n.):
The surprise one registers upon reentering the United States of America and noticing that its citizenry is gigantic.
Binging on so many of the delicacies you can eat nowhere else that you never want to eat pork baoza or flor de calavasa ever again.
The low moment that follows weeks of daring eating, when the traveler seeks out the greasiest possible American food. See also: Pizzalapse.
The wandering foodie who appoints himself scout of the best no-name, backalley, mom & pop restaurants on the planet.
“NO PRO-LEM.” (n.):
The refrain of whoever is guiding, transporting, or handling you in a foreign land when shit hits the fan.
When you cannot take, will not bear, actually tear up at the sight of another line.
SEUSS PRODUCE (n.):
Insane-looking fruits and Wonka-esque vegetables you will never describe, translate, or taste again.
SHAKING BABY DAY (n.):
The rock-bottom moment in a hot, frazzling, crowded place, when you realize you’re capable of harming someone innocent. See also: Frazeltantrum.